Sunday, July 28, 2013

Love is...

Love is a husband who lets you go back to bed after the baby wakes up at 5:45 even though he's just as tired as you.

photo from West Elm

Friday, July 26, 2013

Life Lately

The past two weeks have flown by. The older Miles gets, the faster the days go. When he was a cranky little baby, each day felt like a week. But now we are getting out of the house, taking good naps and making some big belly laughs.

July has been a fun month filled with little family adventures and work fun:

  • Coffee dates with friends who moved back home
  • Late nights on the porch with neighbors
  • Crib sleeping for Miles 
  • One morning a week free while Miles is with my mom
  • A six month birthday for Miles which included two goldfish in an aquarium that's providing minutes of entertainment for him
  • Lots of Etsy calling card, graduation announcement and wedding invitation orders
  • New projects with an old client

My heart has felt heavy as of late. I've been neglecting a lot of things and spending my time on things that don't matter (like Facebook and Instagram). It has been so hard to get motivated to dig into the Bible to see what God is trying to tell me. I know that now, more than ever, I need to lean on the word of God for guidance, support and clarity. Since becoming a mother, I've never questioned so many things. It always seems like I'm doing the wrong thing with him or that I'm going to scar him for life.

It pains me to say this, but motherhood doesn't feel as natural as I anticipated. It's filled with more anxiety, selfishness and stress than I could have imagined. I thought I had no control during pregnancy, but that was nothing compared to the helplessness I sometimes feel as Miles' mom. All this doesn't mean that I don't adore being a mother, or that it's not my calling, but it means that it's hardwork. Dying to your own desires to raise a family is no joke!

I look forward to what August will bring, but I'm grieving the end of summer and Mike's return back to teaching.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Rocking the Days Away

There are days where it feels like all I do is rock Miles to sleep. Sleep has never come easy to him, even now at six months old it comes with a lot of fussing, tossing and turning and even screaming at times. Falling asleep is something he will have to learn how to do on his own eventually but with having a few failed attempts at sleep training it will have to wait. Miles does not have the easy going temperament to fuss a little bit in his crib then fall asleep. He gets more and more worked up. He has his six month well visit next week with our pediatrician so we will wait and see what Mr. Martin has to say about it.

But this week he is not sleeping at night. I can't even count how many times he wakes up and "needs" to nurse. Cosleeping has created a nightime eating monster!

I think it's time for a few changes around these parts. I'm getting to be one sleepy momma!

Monday, July 8, 2013

Blogging Again

I've started and quit three different blogs over about three years. So how is this any different? Why blog again?

Well it's a long convoluted story, but the main points are that I want community. Since giving birth to Miles, my life has been turned upside down. I've lost some freedom, some time, some faith and some community. Having a baby can be very isolating.

Miles will turn six months on Thursday and it's time I get back some of those things. Certainly my faith comes first. What I love about the blogging community is the openness, faithfulness and commitment to making an impact with their words. I've read the blogs of many Christian mothers and women for over a year and have a deep desire to join them and share my life.

I know that God can do great things through the internet, and can redeem much of what takes place in this public space. I think God is calling me to share my journey as a Christian, wife, mother and small business owner and include all my thoughts, short comings and grace-filled moments.

I have no clue what this blog will turn into, but I'm excited to see what God will do in my heart and possibly in the hearts of readers.

So, won't you join me in this journey?!