Becoming a Mother

There has been no one event that has effected me in such profound ways as becoming a mother. The moment that Miles was born, my life changed forever. The bright eyed, wrinkled skin, snugly little boy made me a mother. He fulfilled what I dreamed my life would include. Mike and I waited so long to become parents and Miles came into our lives and hearts and was more than we could ever imagine. Those first few months were filled with tears, laughter, frustration, fear, growing, misunderstanding and joy. They were literally the best and worst weeks of my adult life - between postpartum anxiety, extreme sleeplessness and a lack of confidence, I struggled. Yes, I struggled but I also bloomed. I bloomed into a loving mother who would do anything for her child. I began to see the world in new ways. I became a more compassionate and sincere person. Motherhood has shaked me down to my very core.

Becoming a wife was another life changing moment, but that was an easy transition for me. Mike and I are best friends which makes navigating the waters of forever quite gentle. But motherhood wrecked me, in a good way. God has used Miles to challenge every thought, word and emotion. My sin has been revealed in new ways. I never knew how selfish and impatient I was. When I was pregnant, I imagined how I would be with a newborn. I pictured rocking in the nursery with a sleepy and calm infant. Haha, that lasted about one week. But no matter how hard being a mother is, I find it extremely fulfilling and life giving.

Miles will be turning one in January and I can't believe the journey we've been on. Miles is such a sweet, joyful and focused child. I can honestly say that it is my joy and pleasure to be his mom. Being a wife to Mike and a mother to Miles is it for me. I love my job as a freelance graphic designer, but it's not my focus. I know that my relationship with a loving Heavenly Father needs to come first, and He's transforming my heart in that direction. I just love my boys with all that I am and I am so thankful for them.

I just got the bulk of the images from my maternity shoot last week. My friend and neighbor, Andrea Weaver, was the photographer and captured Mike and my excitement and anticipation to meet Miles beautifully. Scrolling through the nearly 60 photographs caused me to reflect on the past 11 months and how dramatically my life has changed. Can I go wake up Miles now and snuggle him?! I love that I still miss him when he goes to bed for the night, even though I know that in a few short hours I will see him again when he wakes up wanting to nurse.