A Place of Rest

After listening to some of the IF Gathering conference last weekend, I started to read the book of Joshua. I'm not getting far very quickly because God keeps stopping me in my tracks. Yesterday, I spend the day contemplating what it means to be strong and courageous. I'm still not sure what that looks like, but let's talk about God providing rest.

In the first chapter, Joshua commands the people to prepare to take the promise land. Moses is dead and God has charged him with leading the Israelites. Remember that this is what they have all been waiting for. After 40 years in the wilderness, it's finally time. Do you think they are tired? Do you think they are not only physically exhausted but emotionally wrecked? I do. I can't imagine what it would be like to hear a promise from God and have it take so long to come to fruition.

When Joshua spoke the words "a place of rest" I can almost feel the people of God take one big sigh of relief. It's almost here, they can almost breath. My ESV Study Bible footnotes say "rest suggests freedom from threat, the enjoyment of one's inheritance, security within the borders of the land, and a state of all-around well-being."

God spoke life into me as I read these words this morning. I think they are true for us too. After God calls us to great things, often hard things, he will provide a time of rest. A time for us to rejuvenate and gather our strength. Do you ever feel so tired, so sick of working and fighting? I know that feeling all too well. But we can persevere because we know that it won't always be so hard. God will provide us a place, a season, of safety and peace.

I hope these words speak hope into someone's heart. Keep up the good fight, friend - rest is just up ahead.

Grumbling in the Wilderness

God takes grumbling and complaining seriously, it makes him angry. As I am reading through Numbers, I'm reminded how much I can resemble the ancient Israelites. They wandered through the desert guided by a cloud during the day and fire at night (a visual representation of God). They followed a God who brought them out of slavery and promised them a land flowing with milk and honey.

In Numbers 11 the Israelites complained because they had no meat and in Numbers 14 the people rebelled because they are scared of the nations surrounding Canaan. Sometimes their grumblings seemed petty and sometimes they felt justified.

The Israelites were not trusting that what He had in store for them would be good. They wanted to return to Egypt into slavery. They must have forgotten what they had been saved from. Doesn't that sound like us sometimes. I often forget the despair that God saved me from when I was 13. A life without faith in Jesus would have led me down some terrible paths. But somehow I neglect to trust that the circumstances that God has brought into my life are good. I am quick to complain and make plans to get out of them. In my head, I create scenes where life looks different, perfect even. 

God has put so many amazing blessings in my life and my grumbling devalues all that God has done for me. I am chosen by God to be his child and the last thing I want to be is an ungrateful daughter to the one who gave me life. It's so easy to look at the Israelites and think about what a messed up people they were to want to go back to slavery. But those are my people, and I'm not that different from them when discontentment starts to creep into my heart and thoughts.

photo found here

Make Me Brave

I am a timid and often fearful person, but I think that God wants to make me brave. He wants me to step out and be bold and confident in him. I want to get swept away in all that God has for my life and not be stuck holding onto things that make me feel comfortable. My heart can just imagine all the joy that comes from a life lived in complete abandon to God. I want that. My prayer today is that God would make me brave and call me out to himself!

A New Year, A Fresh Start

I love starting a new year. There is something exciting about starting fresh and looking forward to the next 12 months. I love to set goals and make plans, even though I'm not crazy about actually committing to them. I've dubbed 2014, the year of Freedom. So often I feel burdened by stress and worry. If things aren't going my way, I tense up. Even when Miles refuses to take his morning nap - like is happening right now in his crib - I feel my body tighten and my heart pound. I'm not a go-with-the-flow type of person, and that doesn't help make our house a relaxed place to live. I know that with the help of the Holy Spirit and the accountability of my husband, I can change that. I know that I don't have to try to control everything.

Choosing a theme for the year is much more attainable than setting six goals with monthly check ins.

2014 is the year I embrace living free.

Gift of Encouragement

Last Saturday I participated and helped to plan a brunch for the women of Life Church. I was hesitant to get involved because I still don't have too many relationships at church even though we've been going there for nearly a year. I decided to step out of my comfort zone and just do it. I signed up for the planning committee and actually knew at least half of the other women from the small group we joined in the fall. I breathed a quiet sigh of relief. The actual brunch was amazing and I put myself out there and had a good time. I talked with some people I hadn't met before and thanked God that He made us to be in relationship, even when it's hard.

One of the most beneficial parts was the little talk that Mindy, our pastor's wife, gave. The topic was on encouragement and influence - neither are things that I regularly think about. But as women, we have an innate, God-given ability to encourage those in our lives. Some key points that stood out to me where:

• Our ability to encourage others starts with a solid understanding of how God made us just the way we are. We need to embrace ourselves and our gifts before we can encourage others. Sometimes our insecurities stop us from being in relationship with other women because of jealous issues. Let's not allow our hang ups about ourselves get in the way of godly friendships.
• We can and should be setting visions for those in our lives. Through encouraging the talents and gifts of others, we can help them see their worth in God and this world. It's amazing how quickly people can flourish when they are noticed and encouraged. This came as an exciting challenge to me. I want to be someone in Miles' life who sees what he can do and who he can be because of God. 
• We need to notice others. I realized that I can't encourage anyone until I notice when people are struggling or when they are excelling at something difficult. Selfishness is a huge barrier to allowing our words and actions to bless others. If we never look away from ourselves, we can't possibly let someone know that we are praying for them or tell them that they are gifted at something.
  

I'm so glad that I took the time to get to know some new faces and to serve God through helping plan the event. I also got to design the visuals for the event! Being an introvert and creating new relationships is tricky but I'm learning.

Blogging, Pride & Jealousy

I was talking to a dear friend Monday night over tea and was telling her about my blog and why I do it. The conversation was steered that way when she asked me how my devotional life was going. And I told her that it was good and I was having precious time which Jesus nearly every day - even if it's just for five minutes in the morning. I mentioned that blogging is a good motivation for making sure that I'm getting time to hear from God. One of the main reasons I decided to blog was to share Jesus with my family, friends and anyone who stumbles across my site. And if I'm not being inspired, then I'm not able to share what Jesus is doing in my life. I also shared with my friend that having a blog helps me to be a little more exciting in the things I do with Miles and to take more pictures. That was where the conversation turned to how do you do that without being prideful.

I don't always do it perfectly. There are times when I read others' blogs and think of how wonderful their lives look. They seem to be perfect mothers with perfect children and perfect hair. But that's not real life. I love the women who blog about real life – its' struggles, failures and triumphs. If all you ever write about on your blog is the latest adventure you took with your kids or how amazing your husband is, you're going to breed jealously and pride.

I hope to make my blog a place where I can share what we are doing as a family, so it can serve as a good collection of our adventures to remember throughout the years, but more importantly, I want to share my heart, my struggles, my successes and my God. That's real life. I think that if sharing Jesus and what he's doing in my daily life is my goal and remains my priority, that I can steer away from writing with a prideful heart.

How do you keep from coveting others' lives, stuff or families when you read blogs? If you write a blog, how do you keep it down to earth?

Perspectives on Loss and Life

Two Saturdays ago a friend from high school was killed in a motorcycle accident. I hadn't seen her since high school where we became friends through playing softball together. We were friends on Facebook, but other than that, I never thought about her. Then I saw the newspaper article about her accident, and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I have been fortunate to not have lost many friends or family members. But when it happens, it shakes me to my core.

Nothing strikes fear into my heart more than thinking about loosing the ones I love. I'm not scared to die, but I'm scared for others. I was reminded many times the past few weeks of how short life is and how fragile it is. It's so clique but we don't know when our last day will be and remembering that dramatically shifts my priorities. Life is about relationships, not how successful, attractive or popular you are. It's about investing in the lives of others and caring about people because God cares about people.

I realized that I need to make time for others. I'm naturally an introvert and it takes effort to be with others. I don't often look forward to being social, but I am always thankful when I am. God is stretching me and convicting me in this area. I can't get so tied to my agenda, that I don't make time for others. My first commitments are to my husband and my son, but Jesus has so much to teach me through others. And I hope that he can somehow use me to inspire others to get serious about Jesus.

My heart still aches for the loss of my friend, but I am thankful for what death does to wreck our lives. God is ever present in our time of need and He shows himself to be greater than we could dream or imagine.

Coffee Date 10.4

I'm so happy for it to be Friday. This week was busier than most.

I've been missing our coffee dates for a few Fridays, but I'm glad we are back together now. Let's drink some iced coffee since it's been in the 80s for a few days in OCTOBER. Where's the fall weather I love? 

I hope we would sit on the living room rug on the floor while we watched Miles climb on everything. The past month he has been learning new things so quickly. It seems like he was just learning to army crawl and now he's moving fast and pulling himself up everywhere. I know it's hard to have a deep conversation while being constantly distracted, but we will try.

I would tell you that I'm trying to be more intentional with my friendships. In the past week, I've had two play dates with friends and their children. It's been good to socialize during the day. It's been good to step outside of my selfishness and delve into the lives of my friends. But it's work. I'm not naturally an outgoing person, and I'm content to spend the day loving on Miles and waiting for Mike to get home from work. But God calls us to be in community and to love others. I'm praying for God to change my heart and to give me a passion for deep relationships that glorify him. Won't you pray that with me?

I would tell you that selfishness is creeping its way into my heart again, into my marriage and into my care for Miles. I think that being a mother is a beautiful calling from God, but it's also draining. I have less time to actually get things done and higher expectations for everyone in my life. It's a juggling act that I need to accept that I'm going to drop some balls, and give others room to not have it all together. There's beauty in imperfection and in not getting it right – that's where grace can shine. 

I would tell you that I'm getting excited for Miles' first birthday already. I think I want to throw a lumberjack themed party at my house in January. The only problem is that we have a small row home and not enough space for our friends and family. But I desperately want to host it at our house. We're still trying to figure out the logistics. 

I would confess that I haven't really done my hair all week. It's been back in a ponytail for the past three days. I would probably even complain about how hard it is to have the bathroom and shower right beside the nursery. And that is my excuse for the ponytail. The bathroom location has to change in our next house! 

I would share what I've been learning in church and small group about Jesus' humanity. This sermon series on the man of Jesus is blowing my mind. I'll do an entire post about what I'm learning soon. 

We would talk about how you are, what you're struggling with and how God's working in your heart. Once our coffee cups were empty and time has passed quickly, I'd walk you out to your car and give you a huge hug goodbye. 

Until next week my dear friend! 

Children in Church Matter

Each Sunday morning, as we are getting ready quietly while Miles naps I pray that church will go well for us. You see, Miles doesn't do well in the nursery. He lasts for about 10 minutes before he breaks out in his pterodactyl cries (really screams) and a nursery volunteer has to tap me on the shoulder during the service. Nursery is the only place he does that and I've tried every trick in the book and nothing has worked – not bringing toys from home, not leaving a bottle, not having his special blanket he sleeps with.

It wouldn't be an issue if he was calm and quiet during the church service. I love how light hearted and joyful Miles is but it does make for a few distractions during church. He plays peacefully with a book or toy for a few minutes then wants to smile and interact with people. One smirk from a fellow church member, and he's squealing with delight. Super cute, right? It sure is, but it's also a little disruptive. Typically, we try to keep him in the service as long as we can before either my husband or I have to take him to the back of the room or hanging out with him in the nursery. It's hard because one or both of us miss the sermon and worship. But I'm at a loss for what to do.

I recently came across this post by blogger, I Am Totally "That" Mom called "Dear Parents with Young Children in Church." In the blog post, Jamie advocates that keeping your young children in the church service is a good thing – it matters. I love how she puts this, so I won't try to summarize, I'll just take it directly from her post...

"I know you're wondering, is it worth it? Why do I bother? I know you often leave church more exhausted than fulfilled. But what you are doing is so important. When you are here, the church is filled with a joyful noise. When you are here, the Body of Christ is more fully present. When you are here, we are reminded that this worship thing we do isn't about Bible study or personal, quiet contemplation but coming together to worship as a community where all are welcome, where we share in the Word and Sacrament together. When you are here, I have hope that these pews won't be empty in ten years when your kids are old enough to sit quietly and behave in worship. I know that they are learning how and why we worship now, before it's too late. They are learning that worship is important. "

We all worry that our children are misbehaving, taking away from someone else's worship experience or even worse of all, we worry that we are being judged as parents. Little people are an important part of the body of Christ and we know that Jesus loves them deeply. My prayer for next Sunday won't just be that church goes well, but that God is glorified through our family and that Miles can contribute well to the worship of Jesus!

Trust in God - Proverbs 3:5,6 Scripture Print

Here's a little gift for you. In my devotions this morning from She Reads Truth - Women in the Bible, I was meditating on Proverbs 3:5,6 about trusting in God's plans and placing our hope in Him for our future.

My heart's tendency is to trust in God when I can't handle something on my own first. And that's not what He calls us to do. It's not trust when you've exhausted all other avenues, but trust in Him first with all of our being. My "own understanding" is so flawed and my perspective is so narrow. God sees all of history and all of the future, His understanding is perfect. He sees how all of life fits together into his wonderful plan of redemption.

Just open the image in a new window and save as a .jpg and print! Great as a 5 x 7. Email me if you want it as an 8 x 10.